Exisles Issue 1

I wrote a web comic about a post-apocalyptic Britain, ‘Exisles’ (no that’s not a spelling mistake), the year after I’d finished Uni. Two friends (George Boylan and Andrew ‘Swiss’ Swingler) and myself got together every week in George’s tiny bungalow in Huddersfield to write. I can remember sleeping top to tale on the floor of George’s computer room with Swiss in excruciating heat and systematically kicking each other in the head throughout the night. Good times. I’d change a lot about Exisles reading it back now, but it seemed a waste to keep all the pages on my hard drive doing nothing, so here they are.

Note: Click on image if text appears too small, it will allow you to zoom in

comic-cover Continue reading “Exisles Issue 1”


Netflix Review: Ultimate Beastmaster

If you’re anything like me an average week day evening consists of getting home from work, showering, cooking one of the four meals in your repertoire that can best described as ‘edible’ and then fending off the existential crisis that looms over the empty repetitive nature of your existence, making you wonder if you are merely an insignificant bunch of ones and zeros in the background of a computer generated reality, like a pedestrian in Grand Theft AutoContinue reading “Netflix Review: Ultimate Beastmaster”

Netflix Review: Doomsday Bunkers (2012)

As the impending shadow over Dystopia looms over us with; Brexit, Trump: The Movie, ISIS, Zika Virus, the inevitable future re-emergence of MechaFarage and our reality being swapped out for the augmented version available on Pokemon Go, Doomsday Bunkers has arrived on Netflix UK in the nick of time.

Doomsday Bunkers offers a fly on the wall look in to Scott Bales and his Texan based bunker building business, Deep Earth Bunkers. Each of the three available episodes features Scott and his crew servicing a terminally paranoid clientele, that refer to themselves as ‘Preppers’ (people who are preparing for various impending apocalypseseses), by planting fortified metal boxes in the ground. Continue reading “Netflix Review: Doomsday Bunkers (2012)”

MasterChef Review – Week 1: Cae Hard with A Vengeance

MasterChef is back!” exclaimed nobody …ever.

There are however, millions of dick bags across the country, myself included, looking forward to suddenly mutating in to fair weather food critics over the next 12 or 13 weeks. Whilst watching the first episode, this mutation took place instantly within me (bearing in mind that I at one time believed Campbell’s Meatballs in a bowl of Super Noodles was an acceptable version of Spaghetti Bolognese), I somehow found myself tutting, shaking my head disapprovingly and uttering the words, “He’s fucked his walnut gnocchi, look.” Continue reading “MasterChef Review – Week 1: Cae Hard with A Vengeance”

Lovely bit of reverse trolling that…


I stumbled across this thread on the IMDB today titled ‘Stephen Merchant: Beyond Bad in Portal 2’.

The original poster (lone_virgo) starts with a vitriolic, borderline incomprehensible rant about the game designers and voice actor (Stephen Merchant) that worked on the Portal 2 character ‘Wheatley’.

However, the angry erection that had arisen in lone_virgo was extinguished by the proceeding posters on the message board with the gusto of a nun making her morning rounds armed with a whack-a-mole mallet at an all boys Catholic Boarding School.

This is how you deal with potential trolls.

Enjoy! (Click link below)


The Baby Steps of An Introvert #1 – THE GYM


To say that I had recently put on a bit of timber would be an understatement. Towards the end of September my biological make- up resembled that of a Richmond sausage. The realisation kicked in when I found myself emitting breathy chant of “I-think-I-can”, like The Little Engine That Could, as I clambered up two flights of stairs at work. Three years ago I was 9 and a half stone wet through. That wasn’t necessarily a healthy weight but nearly four stone later and I‘d wildly over shot a ‘healthy weight’ like a coked up Angry Bird. Continue reading “The Baby Steps of An Introvert #1 – THE GYM”

Stowell’s Segment: The Apprentice


Forget Lourdes, Fatima or any of the Shinto nonsense, it is said that the most sacrosanct shrine of present day is an unattended spillage in the aisles of Thresher in Prestwich. For t’was here that Liam Stowell once took out a shelf of premium real ale as he reached for a dented can of White Ace that had fallen down the back. Why a shrine you ask? Because he is a left wing man of the people and Thresher’s best customer, but mainly the man of the people bit. Liam Stowell is so Communist he bleeds… red. He hates Captialism so much that he will spit in my face when he sees that I haven’t bothered to write the first letters of his forename and surname in lower-case. For this reason Stowell has given us his thoughts on BBC 1’s The Apprentice

“The Apprentice: the united colours of benetton of twats.”

– Liam Stowell (2014)